Fan Mail


Jane Random Fan, I’d like to thank you for your recent note.
Although I didn’t read it all, I’m happy that you wrote.
Because of the large quantity or letters in my queue,
I cannot send a personal reply direct to you.
You tell me you’re in love with me (the media’s to blame)
You’re dazzled by my image, and my manufactured fame
I autographed my picture once; it’s hanging on your wall.
I’ve signed them by the thousands and I can’t recall them all.
You mention that I drew a heart around your name and mine
I don’t know how to tell you this–I do that all the time.
Although I am your fantasy, I’m really just a man
I only wrote this poem because you are my biggest fan.

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